It's okay, I've done it before.

I'm not having the best of times in the midst of this NHS reshuffle, but considering where I was a year ago, I'm doing all right. (At least I'm not flat on my back with my blood running through a by-pass machine and half-a-dozen people's hands in my chest.)

I'll update with anything IMPORTANT if anything IMPORTANT occurs. In the meantime, I'm just feeling a bit meh about all these changes. I'm a person who normally likes change, but there is so much about this re-structuring that is a) out of my control and b) hasn't been properly thought through, and I'm just tired of putting out fires that people higher up the food-chain should have put out, on top of juggling my family and a long commute. The hardest part, I think, was saying goodbye to what was the most welcome and well-functioning team I've ever worked with. It was an office where everyone got on, we all supported each other, we all had the same sense of humour and tastes, and most importantly, the programmes we implemented with each other's help actually worked. We've now been scattered to the four winds, and although my boss and I are still together, it's clear neither of us is happy with our new posts, either because of the remit or the commute, or both. We're both looking to greener pastures. The new office just doesn't have the same dynamic and it's hard to see how well we can succeed with all our plans when our partners (GP practices, school nurse teams, and Child Health Information office) are miles away and so much of our day is wasted on travelling. We do work remotely, but then there's no communication.

However, this is me, and I'm well into making plans for sorting all that shit out. Watch this space.

And if anyone feels like writing me fluffy H/D or G/E fic, that'd be nice, too.

I'm sorry this is so late, but here's a big THANK YOU to sra_danvers, capitu, knowmefirst, and invidious for the groovy pencils, and sassy_cissa, goldylost, knowmefirst, ldydark1, joan_waterhouse, nenne, kayladie for the adorable pandas!

I'm shattered; work is crazy with flu season starting next week and the NHS restructuring is landing on my desk soon. Also, my referral to the gym for Phase IV of cardiac rehab came through, and I am spending all my free time (!) there. I actually cried when I got on the cross-trainer. IKR, WTF? But I was just so delighted to get back to the gym after nearly a year.

Anyway, I'm taking a break this weekend and going to this for absolutely no reason. *cough*

Hello everyone! Yes, some of this barely-controlled joy is pharmaceutically derived, but it's also the result of sleeping well, eating well AND FINALLY HAVING THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF CIRCULATING OXYGEN IN MY BODY.

I came home from hospital yesterday. It is very weird to think that exactly this time last week, I was on an operating table with a bunch of people's hands in my chest. I have an enormous scar now, but at least my heart is working like it should be! A good trade, I think. Evidently, it wasn't pretty: my heart had become "grossly enlarged" and my pulmonary veins were more of a mess than the angiogram and MRI had indicated. The surgeon fixing them was able to re-route them all to the left atrium. I had my mitral valve repaired (annuloplasty), with the aid of some Gore-tex sutures to replace a couple chordae tendineae and a synthetic ring (for which the other surgeon gave me the serial number - in case of recall, I guess - EEEK!) There's a chance that I'll eventually need the valve replaced, but not any time in the near future. They also performed a pulmonary vein ablation procedure to control my atrial fibrillation.

The following people should be sainted for acting above and beyond the call of duty with their visits, gifts and hand-holding whilst I was being jabbed and lines and drains were being yanked out of me: meredyth_13, accioscar, mayfly_78 and felidaeryl. sati_lotus kept me laughing and I even got a nice tweet from my favourite True Blood vampire - THANK YOU, ALLAN!

Huge thanks also goes to alovelycupoftea, vaysh11, groolover and dysonrules for finishing up hd_remix. I owe you my mod life, ladies!

Finally, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE HERE for your lovely messages, vgifts, e-cards, emails, healing thoughts, and well-wishes. I could NOT have got through this as easily as I did without my internet friends, and I thank god for all of you.

I'm still going to be lying low on LJ for awhile whilst healing and getting back fully into RL, but it should be back to business as usual in the virtual world in the next few months.

♥