Fic: Feels Like I've Always Known You (NC17)

[nursedarry]

Title: Feels Like I’ve Always Known You
Fandom/Pairings: True Blood, Godric/Eric
Rating: NC17, just
Word Count: ~4K
Warnings: Not really, aside from the big stupid obvious one most G/E readers are familiar with.
Summary: So, in my head – at least for the purposes of this story – everyone leaves the church and goes to do…whatever, and the next scene is the following night (‘cause who the hell can organise a party that quickly?). Which leaves the remainder of the night Eric gets Godric back completely free. Mmmmm... Angsty smut.
Author's Notes: Written for my darling friend sati_lotus, who helped keep me smiling through a hard year. I'm sorry this has taken so long to write. I know this is your favourite kind of fic, but for a cracky fluff writer, it ain't easy - which will be painfully obvious as you read this. Special thanks also to my G/E friends and writers who have made me so very happy in this fandom. And cheers x1000 to the truly wonderful groolover for the beta! Title taken from On A Night Like This, by Kylie Minogue.
Disclaimer: Not mine. So very not mine :(

Eric didn’t fly home. Godric didn’t fly, and Eric wouldn’t carry him, as his Maker hadn’t asked. Instead he looked at Eric and simply said “Home.” So Eric walked, at a human pace as his Maker had walked from the church, towards the hill behind the building where he had parked his rented car. A hundred questions went through Eric’s head, and he struggled to think of which one he should ask first.

“I don’t feel much like talking now, my Child,” Godric said, seemingly reading Eric’s mind. “But it is good to see you again. It has been too long.”

“Yes,” was all Eric said, a little deflated. But he had to agree. If anything, the anxiety Eric had felt this past week had made their last parting just after the War even more poignant. Once again, Eric was reminded of how he needed to better value the time he spent with people he cared about. Of course, being a vampire, he’d expected to see his Maker again. Godric was older than almost any other Eric knew or knew of. But a vampire’s strength and wisdom didn’t guarantee his immortality.

It wasn’t like Eric hadn’t known where Godric was or didn’t have a way of communicating with him. They texted one another from time to time, Godric being as fascinated with new gadgets as Eric was. And of course the bond between them only strengthened through the long years. After so much time, their presence in each other’s heads and hearts was so comfortable and comforting, it was barely noticed now. Until its absence. Until that horrible day when one of Godric’s deputies had called shortly after Eric woke to find that part of his soul his Maker inhabited empty. He’d spent the night vacillating between worry and sorrow. Slowly, though, the void had been filled again, but damped, like a banked fire. Eric knew Godric lived, but that was all. There was no warmth, no energy.

When they'd nearly reached the car, Eric stopped. He felt like bursting, there was so much he wanted to say and do. Godric would know this, of course, and he looked up at Eric with a small smile. Eric reached out and pressed Godric to him, folding his arms like a great bear around his Maker. Godric buried his face in his Child’s chest and wrapped his arms around Eric’s waist. Earlier, Eric had desperately wanted to hold Godric; his body vibrated with the need to reassure himself this was no phantom, that his Maker was found and safe. But they’d not touched in the church: rarely were they affectionate around others. It was an old habit.

Eric disengaged first, not wanting to delay further but needing Godric to feel his relief through his body as well as their newly-awakened bond. It would seem his Maker had needed to do the same. In the church, Godric had assured him that he could take care of himself, and he had. He’d taken care of all of them, human and vampire alike, and they’d all walked away from what could have been a massacre.

But why had Godric even been there? Surely none of his captors had the means to keep him against his will. Eric hadn’t sensed any creature of greater strength; no spell or any other supernatural cause that could have held a vampire of Godric’s power if he’d not wished it so. Which only meant he had.

Eric had to be content to wait for answers. He slid behind the wheel of the car and, once Godric was secured beside him, left the church and the hatred within it behind. No, Eric had no reason to want to show mercy to these people. But neither did he want to destroy humans who held no malice. They were food, they were comfort, and they were business. Godric had spoken longingly of harmony, but it was clear they were still a long way from that.

Regardless of the proselytising from both sides – and Eric held as much respect for Nan Flanagan as he did for that deranged preacher they’d left lying on the floor – Eric would do as he pleased. The only Authority he recognised was sitting in the seat beside him. Eric reached out and took Godric’s hand and held it for the remainder of the journey.

When he’d arrived at the nest the night before, Eric had had neither the time nor the inclination to look around. It was a house with rooms and ornaments. The only interest he’d had in the place might have been to see where his Maker slept. Into there, Eric would happily trespass, but time was of the essence, and he’d had other business waiting at the hotel.

Now, as they parked in the empty drive and entered the quiet house, Eric’s interest hadn’t changed. There was no one else home: Godric had left his deputies to make their own ways back once assured there would be no further attacks upon the church’s members. And Isabel would be dealing with Hugo. Eric had no doubt that Godric would be overseeing their judgement later, but for now, his Maker seemed content to put aside all that had transpired in the last hours. And because of this, Eric would try to refrain from asking any more questions.

“Come.” Godric broke into Eric’s reverie with the command. He led his Child down a hallway to a door off the kitchen that led to a small pantry. Behind a shelf on which sat a smattering of bottles and tins, Godric opened a concealed panel and crept through it. Beyond lay a staircase that led to a well-appointed, windowless and comfortable-looking room. Eric took in the bed with a fur thrown across it, more for effect rather than warmth, he thought, and smiled at the memories such an image invoked.

“I’ve no wish to see anyone else tonight,” Godric announced. Eric stood silent, letting his Maker regain his bearings after his absence. “I am sorry, Child, to have involved you in this.” Godric looked up and Eric instinctively sank to his knees in front of him. Godric’s hand found Eric’s hair and stroked it and Eric closed his eyes, almost afraid that when he opened them, he might become tearful. Eric had always worried that Godric didn’t feel as strongly for him as he did for Godric, even though he had never had any evidence to support the theory. It was an old insecurity, one Eric now realised probably all Children harboured. Even the most simplistic of Maker/Child relationships were complex, and Godric and Eric’s relationship had always been far from simple.

Eric felt his Maker’s fingers leave his sensitive scalp and trace a path down his face. Eric risked opening his eyes, which thankfully hadn’t started leaking, and gazed upwards. As ever, behind the modern haircut and the porcelain skin, Eric saw the impish bloodied face he’d first seen a thousand years ago – the face of Death looking down at him through the eyes of a boy.

Godric curled himself over his Child, then fell to his knees and embraced him. They held each other for a long time, both breathing to take in their familiar scents.

“I am sorry if I caused you to worry about me,” Godric said into Eric’s chest. “I was never in any danger.” He ran a hand soothingly over Eric’s long back, and the younger vampire once again fought back the tears.

It was clear his Maker had had a motive for this whole misadventure, but Eric wasn’t sure he wanted to know it now. Holding Godric in his arms again was enough. His Maker had not often kept anything from Eric, but neither did he casually volunteer information. Sometimes, it seemed to Eric, life with his Maker consisted mainly of asking for answers. But often those answers only led to more questions. It was clear that Godric’s stance on humans had changed since Eric had last seen him. And it was plainly obvious that he’d not fed in weeks, perhaps longer.

“Will you drink from me?” Eric asked, aware that the sudden change of subject might break this fragile warmth in their reunion.

“Yes,” Godric promised. “I want to taste of all of you. It has been too long.”

Eric refrained from reminding him that this was something that needn’t have happened; he would have come to his Maker’s side at a moment’s notice if Godric had summoned him. But then again, the last weeks had been filled with distractions for Eric as well, and he quickly squelched any blame he might have been about to ascribe. Geographically, they’d been close for several years. Ideologically, they were drifting apart. From Godric’s short speech at the church, it’d been clear to Eric that his Maker’s vision was much more far-sighted than his next meal or any business ventures that Eric’s thoughts might have run to.

But Godric’s last comment warmed and reassured Eric. At least his Maker was living in the present now, thinking of sex and blood and not bitterness and hatred, which Eric feared had occupied too many of Godric’s thoughts lately.

“I have missed you, Godric,” Eric whispered against his Maker’s neck. He dared to run a hand up underneath Godric’s shirt and over the long tattoo he knew to be concealed along Godric's spine. He felt his Maker smile against his chest and Eric inhaled, watching their bodies move together. Eric’s hands snuck out from underneath the back of Godric’s shirt and around to the front, easily unbuttoning it. When he had finished, Godric flung his arms back, shedding the garment.

A rush of longing overcame Eric as that part of himself, the one which held the connection to his Maker, flared back to life. With Godric’s arms temporarily gone from around his torso, Eric stripped off his shirt then pulled Godric back against him, their chests once again aligned.

“You are cold,” Eric observed, breathing heavily into Godric’s hair.

“And you are my sun,” whispered Godric. Eric smiled at the double meaning and bent his head to offer his neck. He heard Godric’s fangs descend, a sound Eric had not heard in a long time, and he became instantly hard. Eric groaned as Godric slid his teeth into his throat.

Godric had said he’d needed very little blood anymore, but he gulped down Eric’s now, as if he were filling himself for the next century. Perhaps he was. Eric gasped at each of Godric’s swallows, keenly aware of both how sensual and how satisfying it felt. He knew this well, after all – he’d built a business on it.

Slowly, Eric leaned forwards, pushing Godric back, and his Maker moved his bloody mouth to Eric’s. The air crackled around them, for this was the re-consummation of a millennium of love between two powerful creatures. No doubt Godric’s deputies would feel the residual energy emanating through the house when they returned to the nest.

Eric pressed Godric’s smaller frame to the floor, never breaking the kiss which had started softly and had become more heated by the second. Godric clawed at Eric’s back and pressed himself upwards, urging Eric on to take back his blood and become closer still. Eric ran his tongue down to his Maker’s painted chest, pulling at the fastening of Godric’s trousers as he did. By the time his mouth reached his Maker’s belly, Eric had removed the remainder of Godric’s clothes. He took Godric into his mouth briefly, then moved his lips to the soft skin of Godric’s thigh, nuzzling his Maker’s groin. Eric pulled Godric’s leg over his shoulder and sank his fangs into Godric’s upper thigh. Godric, hard and clearly needy, arched and hissed, moaning in their ancient language at this intimate feeding.

Revelling in the release of Godric’s control, Eric smiled around the wound he’d created and reached for Godric’s cock with his free hand. He stroked it as he swallowed his Maker’s blood.

There weren’t many things that Eric could profess to truly love, but this feeling was at the top of that very short list. The house disappeared around him and Eric was transported to the depths of a faraway forest, not long after his making, where he and Godric had first shared their bodies as well as their blood. Until then, Eric had drunk from Godric’s wrist, his new fangs too unwieldy to effectively cut into his Maker’s neck with any accuracy and without injury. Later, he’d learned to control his movements, perfecting his technique of piercing flesh and drinking carefully from different sites – it would not do to always tear out the throats of victims. And Godric had assured him that although there was carnage enough to be found in the world, it was not always possible to be amongst it when most they needed to feed.

It was in this very position, with his mouth on his Maker’s thigh and Godric’s hand in his long hair, that Eric had realised he craved Godric as a lover as well as everything else his Maker had promised. He’d reached for Godric’s flesh without even thinking, as though it were the most natural thing to accompany the erotic drawing out of blood. His Maker had startled, had tried to sit up, but Eric had growled and held him down, moving his mouth from Godric’s thigh to his cock, too fast even for Godric to react in his current blissful state. His Maker could only lie back and tremble, soon coming into Eric’s mouth with the speed of his true biological age.

It had been the only time Eric had ever got the better of him, and although Godric never could match the sexual stamina of his Child, he quickly learned to control himself long enough not to be caught out by any of Eric’s subsequent antics. Clearly he had not expected Eric to want him in this fashion, but had expressed nothing but pure joy when it happened.

Afterwards, when Godric had regained his senses and had held Eric’s cock in his hand, stroking it while kissing him, Eric felt eighteen again himself. Not once since that night had he ever felt any emotion more powerfully. The feeling surpassed even their vampiric bond as well as strengthening it.

Now, Eric chose not to finish Godric with his hand or his mouth, knowing his Maker would want to draw this out. Eric had long ago learned to embrace that knife-edge of pleasure. He knew that often there was more enjoyment to be had on the road to climax than in the climax itself. At this, Eric remembered feeling pity for his Maker, eternally bound in a teenage body but with the patience of an elder. However, the combination had served them well at the beginning: Godric finding release early on, and Eric taking his time and keeping them going, sometimes till dawn. Godric had been sexually experienced, but had never truly made love. The pleasure of teaching his Maker this art was yet another thing Eric had relished about his childhood as a vampire.

Godric stretched languorously under his Child, his arms pulled above his head, his leg pressing into Eric’s shoulder. Eric was so hard it hurt, but he didn’t feel the pressure for release he knew his Maker would be experiencing. He lowered Godric’s leg and slithered up his body. When he got into kissing range, Godric grabbed his face and pushed his tongue into Eric’s mouth with inhuman force. Eric’s fangs slashed Godric’s tongue and the ancient coppery taste once again filled him. There was nothing in the world better than his Maker’s blood.

And Godric had been right, of course: it had been too long.

During the drawn-out bloody kiss, scarlet rivulets flowed from the corners of their mouths over Godric’s chin and onto the plush carpet. Eric ran his hand through the dribbles as he reached to thread his fingers through Godric’s short hair, his other hand reaching around his Maker’s naked body to grab his ass, pressing their torsos together.

Godric moaned again and pushed them over to lie on top of his Child. Rarely did they use supernatural speed during their coupling, though Eric was partial to it with humans – it added to the vampire mystique and he found his partners’ reactions were as varied as they were. But Godric wouldn't be impressed: speed during lovemaking was something neither he nor Eric craved, except perhaps in the removal of clothing.

As if to prove the point, Godric broke the kiss and, in the blink of an eye, slid down Eric’s body and peeled off his jeans. But he slowed to human speed as he kissed his way up the inside of Eric’s long legs. Now it was Eric’s turn to stretch out and smile as he looked down at his Maker. Godric took hold of Eric’s cock and looked at him, before leaning forward to wrap his lips snugly around it. Eric’s head fell back and he let out a groan that even the neighbours might have heard. Godric smiled around him. Eric’s legs splayed further apart and Godric settled himself between them. After a moment, he broke off from sucking on Eric as his fangs snapped down again. He ripped open his wrist and thrust it towards Eric, who quickly sat up. He steadied himself on one elbow, and used his other hand to pull Godric’s wrist to his mouth. When his Maker went back to work on Eric’s cock, Eric’s head lolled back, and he pulled Godric further atop him.

I love you. Eric tasted the emotion in Godric’s blood. As he drank, Eric teased Godric’s skin, mouthing a kiss on the flesh even as he drew the life from it. He ached for Godric to know he felt the same. A pointless feeling, really, for Godric would know; had known since the day Eric was born to him. Godric would know that Eric looked at him differently than he did anyone else, spoke to him differently – not just reverentially, but with a fondness he felt for no other. This relationship was different from any that Eric had ever had with any human lover, and even with his own Child. Eric’s feelings for Godric transcended time. He loved Godric more than he loved himself. Never, never, could Eric Northman have said that about anyone he’d known in his mortal life.

Of course he would fight a thousand men and wolves to avenge his slaughtered family, but Godric overshadowed all ambitions. Only for Godric did Eric truly live. The blood didn’t lie, and just as Eric’s lust was satisfied by his Maker’s hands and mouth on his body, his need to love and be loved was fulfilled. Both demands fought for pleasurable dominance, and it was not long before Eric came.

He broke away from Godric’s wrist. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” Eric repeated in Swedish, and Godric moved upwards and kissed him, stealing the words and the last of his own blood back from his Child.

Godric was still kissing him as he entered Eric’s body, pushing in slowly, allowing Eric time to adjust. It wasn’t always like this. The last time they’d made love, it was rushed and reckless and they’d very nearly been discovered in an Augsburg alleyway. But it mattered little where they were, for they’d been everywhere.

Eric smiled at the memory and pulled Godric further into him, kissing his Maker more forcefully. Godric began moving faster, pushing against Eric as Eric pulled him yet deeper. Not many moments later, Eric closed his eyes to better focus on his Maker's breath in his face. Eric enjoyed these moments. It made him feel more human with none of a human’s vulnerabilities.

It wasn’t long before Eric was able to draw from Godric that long sweet exhalation. Wrapping his arms around his Maker, Eric held Godric tightly through the tremors. He felt Godric enter him again – once more his fangs pierced Eric’s throat – and once more he heard Godric swallow long draughts of his blood.

When he finished feeding, Godric licked at the skin on Eric’s neck. Eric knew the wounds would already be healing, but he would sense their presence. He would feel them for the next thousand years. And the next.

Eric could have fallen asleep; he felt more content than he had in months. He felt Godric’s slow withdrawal from his body and only then realised how tightly he’d wound himself around his Maker. He stretched again, keeping one arm still wrapped around Godric’s narrow waist, holding him close. Eric smiled when he discovered they hadn’t moved from the floor.

“We didn’t make it to the bed,” he said.

“Indeed.” Godric raised himself slowly off Eric’s body.

Muffled sounds now came from above. Godric’s deputies must have come back. Eric could smell humans with them. The vampires would sense their Sheriff had returned, but Eric knew none would intrude.

Still, the smell of human blood pricked Eric’s senses.

Godric slowly rolled away from him and Eric opened his mouth to speak but, becoming distracted, just as quickly closed it. He watched as Godric padded over to the bed and pulled back the covers. He slid underneath that luxurious-looking fur, and for a moment Eric forgot what he’d been about to say. He stood, walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in. Godric folded himself around his Child and nuzzled Eric’s neck once more.

“When had you last fed?” Eric asked finally. Although he didn’t want to press the matter, Godric’s earlier pallor concerned him.

“You are the only sustenance I need,” Godric insisted. Eric could tell from his tone that his Maker considered the subject closed. Although gratifying, Godric’s response was hardly practical. Tomorrow Eric would arrange for Godric to feed properly on human blood. Vampire blood could keep the hunger at bay but was no substitute for what their bodies truly craved.

Eric tried to forget his worries for now. Tonight, he and Godric could make love over and over, then sleep the day away, together again after more than half a century apart.

Yes, there was still this moral barrier between them – this unease Godric felt about a peaceful coexistence that Eric couldn’t bring himself to care about. But they’d get through it; they always did. Eric had lost count of the number of times they’d disagreed over something. And like each instance before, they had all the time in the world to resolve it.

Eric burrowed deeper under the covers and further into Godric’s arms.

The End

Comments

[sati-lotus.livejournal.com]

I love you. Eric tasted the emotion in Godric’s blood.

My fave part. Just how I picture their bond - it's like you read my mind.

Poor Eric, thinking it'll never end and we know it will...

Loved it. Thank you.

[justwolf.livejournal.com]

Great story--sensual and sad. I love how you evoked the intimacy between them.

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I really can't write sensitive smut very well, so this was a lovely compliment! You've made me smile.

Loved It!

[lougenessis.livejournal.com]

Simply lovely. Great story. Thank you. Will definitely go in my memories.

Re: Loved It!

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! And what an awesome icon!!

[knowmefirst.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a lovely story, perfection!

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. I needed to get that out of me. I wish there was more G/E fic around. Although I am writing some more, it's not so sweet.

[septemberoses.livejournal.com]

Well, that was pretty fucking hot. Do I need to browse your journal?

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

I am so chuffed you read this!!! Actually, I re-read it last night and found a couple of words I want to change. As for the journal, I did co-write another G/E fic I'd love you to see, but alas, it's not porny (hence, this one needed to be let out!), but I was happy with it.

I think everything else is mostly Harry Potter.

But I've been in a serious G/E mood for the last...oh...couple years after re-watching my TB DVDs and un-lurking in the fandom. I'm working on a crack-fic atm, which probably won't appeal to anyone but me - LOL!