H/D Kink/Squick List

[nursedarry]

Updated 2011

What I DO like:
• Hogwarts Era - young-ish (6th, 7th or 8th year) or AU (non-magic or magic) or EWE. I do like epi compliant H/D AS/S fic. And I don’t mind established relationship if it's engagement or wedding!fic.
• First–time – and I MEAN first time - I don’t wanna hear about any girly bits they’ve seen or touched. Het kissing is okay, but no real experience beyond that. If EWE, references to past slash relationship is okay (kinda), but nothing graphic
• Addressing each other by SURNAME. (Exception: see below)
• Madam Hooch to be in it somewhere.
• A somewhat volatile relationship (but with the occasional unexpected display of affection/compassion/tenderness/possessiveness)
• Romance, flangst, hurt/comfort, crack, occasional emo, occasional dub-con
• R or NC17
• Switching!!! OMG YES!
• Accidental bondage/bonding/forced to be together
• Bottoming from the top
• Tonnes of kissing (on the mouth or other body parts aside from see below)
• Happy ending
• Harry's glasses
• Hair nuzzling/pulling
• Drinking games
• Parseltongue, if appropriate to fic
• Scars - reference to them, touching them, etc.
• Quidditch references/games/sex under the stands/ anything Quidditch-related.
• The girls being just as devious/randy as the boys (don’t care if it’s with each other or other boys). Reference to femmeslash is fine.
• Harder-core kinks: use only if appropriate or wanted to by author – object insertion (doesn't have to be toys), spanking, mpreg, aresplay, tonnes of fingering
• Homosexuality is no big deal in the Wizarding world (or at least no one is freaking out about a preference for boys. They’re freaking out over the fact that it’s H & D together).
• Spending the night together secretly (or not so secretly) in the dorm. No convenient RoR.
• Being caught snogging or overheard moaning and groaning- anything more is a little cringe-worthy to me, unless it’s implied (e.g. climbing out of the other’s bed). Caught by teacher.


What I DON’T like:
Vocabulary that I don’t like-
• “Claiming” (anything - body parts, a person)
• “Capturing” (anything - lips, etc)
• “Battling tongues”
• “Raking” eyes
• “Marking”
• “Raven-haired” (I don’t mind “blond”)
• “Thrumming”
• “Laving”
• “Debauched”
• “Feathering”
• “Plundering”
• “See something you like?”
• “Come for me”
• “Want you” ("I want you" is fine)
• “Fuck me”
• “Mine”
• Hitching breath
• Any form of the word “crush”
• Americanisms
• “Top/Topping, Bottom/Bottoming” used as verbs or nouns by the characters (eg. “Are you a top?” I just don’t see them using those definitions. I can hear “I like being on top/bottom.”)
• Any terms of endearment, EXCEPT “Baby”. I love that, but it’s not really them, I know!
• Possessive gestures (saying “mine”) BUT, I love completely unexpected jealous behaviour - like when Harry goes charging over the table at Blaise or someone and everyone is thinking “Wass that all about…hmmmm….?”
• Character(s) described as “his lover” or “his boyfriend” by the author. Characters themselves can refer to each other that way “Well…you might as well know; we’re kinda…er…lovers/boyfriends/etc.”
• Please, no “screaming” orgasms.

Actions/things I don’t like
• Cheek cupping (of the face – I hate that; cupping the arse cheeks is fine!)
• Stroking faces/jaw lines/cheekbones/etc. (Grabbing someone by the face/hair and kissing them is okay, though, as is running hands up and down arms - that’s yummy.)
• Ridiculous amounts of kissing necks, collar bones, etc. (see above).
• Long hair (well, no longer than in GoF- for either of them)
• Calling each other by first name (except maybe during the odd orgasm)
• Epilogue compliant unless there's AS/S in it :)
• Infidelity
• Break-up-make-up fics. I don't mind a drunk shag and denial with a happy ending, but no established relationship before the fic starts or for too long into the fic. For me, it's all about UST and getting together.
• No boxer shorts when they're at school. (If it’s mentioned, just say “pants” or “underwear” – in my universe they’re either gonna be plain old M&S Y-fronts (briefs) or those boxer-brief things that Fox Mulder immortalised - but somehow I don’t see either of them in those at that age.)
• Leather anything/Muggle dance clubs/make-up/cross-dressing, etc. (unless it's Fifi!)

Comments

[moonlitdark.livejournal.com]

Interesting list!

object insertion (preferably not toys) - *is intrigued by trying to imagine other... umm, non-toy related possibilities* O.O ;D

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...wands, knife hilts (Noe wrote a good one with that with Luna's kids), um...I sure I can think of other stuff :)

[moonlitdark.livejournal.com]

Ohhh... *allows imagination to run rampant* ;D

It's fun to see people's individual preferences. :) Will remember to refer to this list if I'm ever writing you a fic! But differences (and/or similarities) are what keeps stuff interesting, and long as there are still gay wizards, we will all come together in the end.

Umm, that really wasn't intended to be a pun... but I'm keeping it anyway. ;D

*is tired and silly*

Must wrench myself away from lj, finish packing for a wee trip and then sleep... gotta get back up in a few hours.

[geneva2010.livejournal.com]

This was great - I loved your list of hated words, "plundering" - yeah, that pretty much sucks.

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL!!! I just think of Vikings when I read that.

[privatebozz.livejournal.com]

Wow, the two lists of things you don't like have so much stuff I absolutely despise in slash fics - I want to scream 'YES, THANK YOU!' almost after every sentence/word you posted. The bad thing is that those words/actions are all so commonly used, and I often wonder if it's just me who likes the short hair, the casual clothes, boys who behave masculine, if it's just me who is totally turned off by a single word or a single line (every line you list from 'See something you like' to 'Mine' are so spot on that I had to laugh out loud - while cringing uncontrollably). Leather and dance clubs - HORRIBLE.

Of course there are always exceptions, some writers can pull off stuff that normally would make me dismiss the fic right away. But that's rare. And it still isn't what I'd prefer in a slash fic. So, great list. Whole-heartedly approved. :-)

Yara

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

LOL! Thank you!!! The worst part is, I'm sure I've written a few of these myself - maybe...Not sure. And fair enough if people DO like all the stuff I don't - I just hope people don't take it personally. I mean - gay wizards, people - this is just silly stuff:)

SO GLAD TO FIND A KINDERED SPIRIT!

And every single time I see that icon I want to say "Somebody wake up Hicks." Without fail.

[privatebozz.livejournal.com]

Much of it is a matter of tastes and preferences, but some of it is simply bad writing, or let's say in the urgent need of some improvement and originality. Originality and developing the own style is the eminent factor here imo. And I may not be an expert when it comes to this language (I am German), but I know a cringe when I feel it ;-) I'm very glad that I stumbled upon a great rec-list a while ago that has led me to some brilliant writers, including you. But that said, I wouldn't ever write an author completely off. It happened more than once that I read a magnificent fic and hated everything else he/she wrote or the other way around.

Hicks..*sigh* If I'd make a list of sexiest movie characters of all time, Hicks would definitely be a strong candidate for the top. :-) Too bad he didn't wake up in Alien 3..

And please don't tell me that's Lee Adama, BSG is one of my favorite TV shows, and I loved Apollo from the start (the arrogant attitude, hehe). Jamie Bamber is brilliant.


Yara

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

Yes, that IS Lee A. I'm a big BSG fan. That is, I'm a fan, I'm not big, but I'm a fan - oh fuck it, you know what I mean :D

And I refuse to believe Hicks (and Newt) are dead no matter what anyone says!

[stonemagic185.livejournal.com]

Oops that was me the anonymous one. I wasn't logged in.
.........................
I love your list. It sort of mirrors my own. I am new to fan fiction and Drarry in general but over the past four months since I've discovered Drarry I've definitely learned what I like and what I don't like. One of my biggest dislikes is when they kill of either Harry or Draco separately or together. I've been turned off of the sad/angst fics since reading Seeing the Stars. I can handle angst but the multitude that it was in that fic almost melted my brain.

[stonemagic185.livejournal.com]

Oh and the "want you" is such a turn off for me. It sounds better when it's written as "I want you'. We are in agreement there.

[nursedarry.livejournal.com]

My True Blood OTP fic is mostly death!fic (also annoying) but I don't really like that in my H/D, although I have been known to read it. I'd rather read dub!con or non-con!