How is it that the Royal Mail can manage to lose every important piece of post at some point, but my alma mater can find me wherever the hell I go, no matter how obscure or how many times I move my ass?

Attention Tulane Alumni Association: you already have enough of my money seeing as I got both my BS and MPH within your hallowed walls. So, piss off!

Bloody hell, next the Royal Free Hospital will start chasing me for money since I slaved away for them as a student as well. They can piss up a rope, too.

Next the bloody IRS will expect me to file a return.

Shit, what's the date?