My bad!fic bingo card
. Which is all phoenixacid
|Smooshing pairing names
||Altering a character's appearance to fit stereotype
||Misuse of homophones/similar words
||Crossposting to communities
||Speech tags/punctuation fail
|Blackmailing for comments
||Misuse of adverbs or adjectives
||SPAG errors in header
||Bad POV switches
||Turning a good/evil character evil/good without justification
|Random foreign language/iconography usage
||OOC vocabulary/speech patterns
|Mary Sue/Gary Stu
||Bad euphemisms/adjectives for sex/genitalia
||Misspelled character names
||Questionable sexual practices
||Excessive word emphasis
||Everyone is bi/gay
||Excessive purple prose
accepted... My star choice was "Dodgy Crossover."Title
: Strictly Come DrarryAuthor
: Hard R Word count
: Harry and Draco enter the Hogwart’s Yule Ball Dance Competition. During 8th year, there's a Yule ball with a difference. Disclaimer
: THEIR NOT MINE BUT I WISH THEY WERE *hearts* Notes: This is Week One. There’ll be more later IF you think this is good. You know what to do, right????? Thank you, thank you, thank you to my eleven betas for all the fabulous suggestions – ILU guys SO MUCH!!!!!! Cross-posted to ha
rrydraco_4evah, hd_snoogliverse, hd_dancing, hd_crossover, A03, ff.net, and Dreamwidth.
Does anyone here know how to put stuff under a cut? LOL! SORRY!!!!
After the War, as a treat to the returning 7th and 8th years, co-headmasters Snape & McGonagall decided to spice up the next Yule Ball. Since their honeymoon to Argentina a year ago, they had wanted to hold a dance competition at Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy, and his beautiful wife Narssica, had agreed to be the hosts of the competition. Now all they needed were judges. Headmaster Snap called in his good friends Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who themselves, had been Hogwarts’ jitterbug champions in the ‘70s. When Voldamort heard about the competition (he had been reincarnated by yet another one of Seamus’s potions gone wrong), he decided that rather than extoll the Forces of evil, he’d be the next Len Goodman, and offered his services as Head Judge. All the adults had a good laugh over this and happily placed Voldamort at the judges table. They were still one judge short though, and Mcgonnagol suggested that one of the students should be among there group, as it was important to remember the younger generation had been so very affected by the wartime events. It was decided that Hermione would be the student representative on the judging panel, because she was a girl and would know about dancing. Also, since her split with Ron (Harry had split with Ginny too after she had lied to Harry about being pregnant and insisted he marry her), Hermione needed something to get her back into feeling girly. Everyone had a good laugh about this, too, because since becoming a couple with Pansy, Hermione had felt nothing but girly!
Right now she was locked in her room with Pansy. Hermione looked up when there was a sharp rap on the door.
“Don’t move,” Pansy ordered. “I’m not done worshiping your body.” The frizzy-chestnut-haired girl laid back on her bed while Pansy went back to kissing her nether lips. Not long after, Hermione’s orgasm ripped through her and she screamed her pleasure. Pansy changed her position under the blanket.
“Your going to be late, ‘Mione,” Harry shouted through the door.
“Pansy, we’ll just have to try double-fisting some other time,” Hermione said to her lover.
“Alright,” grumbled Pansy.
Harry walked back to the boys’s dorm that he shared with his boyfriend Draco and Theo and Blaise. They were all taking part in the dancing competition and were getting ready.
Harry admired his partners lithe alabaster body. Draco had gotten taller and toned in the last year, as well as growing his hair out, and Harry and him looked like they were made for each other. The two ex-rivals were tipped to win the dancing competition because of Harry’s natural innate dancing ability and Draco’s years of tap lessons.
Next to them, Blaise adjusted Theo’s bowtie. They were also in the competition, and were looking forward to giving the other boys a run for their money. “You’re gonna lose, Potter,” Blaise taunted.
Malfoy leaned into the Gryffindor, whispering against the shell of his ear. “Don’t listen, love. You dance just as good as him.” Harry beamed at the praise.
The Great Hall looked as though Dumbledore himself had come down from Heaven to bless the school. There were candy canes adorning the walls, and snow gently fell from the ceiling but melted into wisps of ethereal magic before reaching the occupants.
On a raised dias at one end of the Hall sat the four judges, each with numbered paddles in front of them on a long table. In front of the expectant congregation of students, stood Lucius Malfoy, now redeemed and in charge of the new Ministry. His gorgeous wife wore a stunning gown of shimmering silk that perfectly matched her icy complexion.
“The place looks awesome,” Snape said, as he held hands with his wife, resplendent in her tartan kilt. “Not as awesome as you,” said Minerva, as she drank in her husbands’ appearance – he wore a stunning black suit with matching tie.
After a few jokes from Lucius, the competition began. Some Hufflepuff couples danced first and then it was the Slytherin’s turn. Theo jumped up and down in Blaise’s arms when Voldemort and Remus both gave them 8s.
Harry was unsure as he stepped onto the floor, but in Draco’s capable arms, he felt light as a feather, dancing as if born to it, and they quickly won the admiration of all assembled. Even Lucius had to admit that his son and his boyfriend’s dancing took his breath away. Next to him, Narcissa quietly sobbed with pride.
When the boys had finished their dance, the scores were read out. “That was a-maz-ing,” Remus enthused. Next to him Hermione said, “The chassé sequence was beautiful, the jetés were performed together. It had a certain je ne sais quoi about it, that I just… I can’t put into words.”
Harry didn't understand her, but next to him Draco smiled. “I’ll tell you later, love.” Harry smiled back.
Next, Voldamort beamed at them, smiling, his newly human face lighting up the room almost as if in tribute to the ghost of the old headmaster. “It was perfect,” he said. “You truly are the Chosen Ones.”
Sirius was on his feet. “That was just really, really, really fantastic! I felt as though I was watching your father!” Harry couldn’t have asked for a better complement.
All four judges gave them 10s, the first and only time that happened in the history of any Hogwarts’ competition.
At the celebration, Ron – his mouth full of bacon – shouted to Harry down the table. “Sure beats going after those 6 Horcruxes, eh Harry?”
Voldamort looked over at the boys in confusion. “There weren’t 6 Horcruxes; there were SE-VEN!”
FinApologies to anyone who watches Strictly. In fact, apologies to everyone everywhere.